We do A LOT of things to look good ... a lot of strange and painful things ... all in the name of beauty and self confidence! That said, I have to share with you this rather funny yet oddly distressful story.

I received a lovely gift from a girlfriend for Valentine's Day ... a beautiful cream colored top with an open shoulder (oh so sexy) and a rhinestone studded clasp ... it's really gorgeous and along with the blouse she was thoughtful... (and I use the word thoughtful relatively speaking only) thoughtful enough to send along a silicone bra that would secretly compliment the top since you can't wear a "normal" bra with it. I've never used a silicone bra before but (if you have never seen, worn or tried one on) it is essentially a bra with no straps ... just two silicone shaped cups that "stick" to your breasts and clasp in the center!!! My initial thought was something along the lines of "how in the world does this stay on and not fall out the bottom of the shirt??" (now that could be just a bit embarrassing)... so with my curiosity peaked I had to try it on ...

I found out how it stays on ... it glued itself to my boobs ... seriously, the thing became one with my body ... it fit perfectly, looked great, no straps to worry about ... very natural ... it was the getting it off part that presented a particularly disturbing predicament ... as I began to pull an edge I felt like I was ripping the top layer of flesh from my breast ... YIKES! They should put a warning label on those things: Caution: Do not use if you have sensitive breast flesh, if you like your nipples, if you have a hard time tolerating pain ... etc. etc. haha!

On a positive note (you know, since I like to find the good in even "sticky" situations) I have no more nipple hairs!!! LMAO!!

Quote for today: “Welcome those big, sticky, complicated problems. In them are your most powerful opportunities.” ~ Ralph Marston

~ Love and Laughs

Got an email from a friend who was drinking an Amp energy drink and he was referencing how fast he was typing due to the energy drink ... he was typing REALLY fast! (I couldn't see him typing - I could just tell!) *grin* So it got me thinking hmmmmmm...(I'll be fine, don't worry - I'll just have to limit myself the rest of the day now - thinking too much too early zaps my thinking tank) anyway got me thinking that maybe I should invest in some Amp Energy drink and see if it would boost my efficiency factor with household chores. If I could fold laundry in half the time it normally takes me then I could clean the kitchen during the other part of my (normal) laundry folding time and then since the next load of clothes would be ready in the dryer and I would be done cleaning the kitchen earlier then normal I could start folding again instead of the clothes having to sit and wait for me because I'm slow at mopping! If I mop the kitchen fast enough to beat the dryer then I may have time to mop the dining room too all while the clothes are still tumbling in the dryer! I need to paint my entry way too ... I never get around to it though because painting always takes so long ... but with the Amp I could *maybe* do it much faster and since my house cleaning will be all done in so much less time then I'll have time to paint because most of the time I don't ever get to the painting because I want to have the house clean and the laundry done before I start painting and since that never seems to be completed then I never start painting! There are 33 windows in my house that need cleaned too ... inside and outside ... but I never have time to clean them all ... and I don't want to clean just one, I want them all clean at once so I've been waiting for a day when I have time to do them all at once ... but of course the laundry takes priority over the windows ... BUT now ... I think I'll have time to finish the laundry and do the windows!! I am going to get some Amp tomorrow ... right now I think I need a nap!! ~Love and Laughs~

My kids are adorable ... so it would be safe to say that they get their looks from me, right? However, I am certain that they get their intelligence (or lack there of) from their father (please don't tell him I said that).

My husband is a hunter and one of his most prize posessions is a mounted deer head. It was from a hunt in 2001 (I know this because the thing has adorned my home for 8 long years and also because he has a small engraved plaque that is attached to the board that the deer head is mounted on). Now, just to be clear, I have no problem with hunting or hunters ... I don't like (hate is a better word) the fact that there is a dead animal hanging on my wall ... now I mean no offense to those of you who understand this obsession ... I just don't get it so I guess that's why I don't like it ... to him it represents something ... I just don't know what. But anyway, against my wishes, he hangs it on the wall in our front room (the other really stupid thing is that it is completely out of place with the decor of our home - it totally disrupts the flow - but that's beside the point.)

So, it hung there for about 3 years, then I did some redecorating and it had to be taken down. I convinced him (with the help of my then 5 year old son) that it would look really cool in the boys bedroom!! He didn't love the idea but he did humor me and put it there ... I was so happy to not have the thing staring at me late at night when I walked through the house ... dead deer heads are creepy. Anyway, fast forward about three years; Today, my three old gets a wild hair and decides he'd like to do some rope swinging ... so he gets the jump rope and lassos it around the deer horns ... seriously, the boy somehow figured out a way to tie the jump rope around the horns ... and he proceeds to stand on a small toy tool bench and leap off of it while hanging onto the jump rope that is attached to the horns of the deer. WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!! Tarzan the Ape Man!! Actually, have you seen the movie George of the Jungle? It's more like that ... George, George, George of the jungle watch out for that................... Wall!!!

I assume it was fun for a moment or two... but then the screws holding the deer head gave way to the weight of my swinging child and it came crashing down from it's perfect home on the wall. Luckily there were no serious injuries ... both child and deer were still in one piece. My son said, "Mama, I just wanted to swing from the deers hornies."

Needless to say, the deer head is back downstairs on the wall in my living room. *grrrrrrrr .... sigh* The good thing is we did learn a valuable lesson ... no "horny" swinging in the house.

Love and Laughs

Please.

My alarm went off this morning with the announcement of blizzard like conditions sweeping across the state of Kansas .... arhgggg .... I pulled the covers up over my head and pouted!! I just want it to be warm!

I know there is a rain dance ... But is there a sunshine dance I can do? Does anyone know ... can you tell me??

I also had the weirdest dream the other night that I was expecting a baby ... I woke up finding it hard to breath *sob* ... don't get me wrong, babies are a blessing ... but I'm blessed enough!!! No more babies either please (for me)!! Not to mention the fact that *IF* I was pregnant I'd have some pretty significant explaining to do ... since my husband is sterile! Things that make ya go hmmmmm ......

Two of my sisters are expecting though so I think maybe that's what triggered the dream (nightmare would probably better describe the sleep disruption. lol) Anyway, I'm happy it's them and not me!!

On the boob side of things ... I ordered a new bikini from Victoria's Secret and I did get it in the mail a few days ago ... it's so cute!! Well, it's cute when I hold it up and look at it off of my body ... then I put it on ... and it takes on a whole different look ... not so cute!! I showed my 14 year old daughter and she said "You should have got one with pads!" Awwww, what a sweet girl she is! LOL! On the bright side, (on the backside I should say ... lmao!) the bottoms look really great!! I will have to take some pictures in it even though it looks completely ridiculous ... not because I'm into self humiliation but more because it will make a great before and after comparison -- (after I get my boobs done!)

I have to work today ... outside ... in the "blizzard like conditions" ... the wind is blowing and its freezing ... I'm covering a shift for my little sister ... I'm now sitting here wondering why I agreed to this ... if I had any incline to the weather conditions I would have passed the opportunity to waitress (car hop) for 3 hours and make no money ... grrrrrrrr! Actually, that's not true ... even with the knowledge that I was going to freeze my butt off and make no money I would have still covered the shift for her ... sacrificing my warmth and my time ... because that's just the kind of sister I am! Plus ... she'll owe me!!!! Mwahahaha haha...

Well, I better get a move on my day ... I have to find my long underwear! Burrrr *shivers*

~Love and Laughs~

It's dangerous and sooner or later you get burned!!

I'm going to recount an incident that happened here at my home a few nights ago ... try to read this without laughing so hard that *if you were drinking milk* it would come out your nose ... Good Luck!!

Last night I prepared a gourmet meal (well, you know me, all the meals I prepare are gourmet, right!?) of chicken pot pies ... I say they were gourmet because they weren't the cheap ones - they were the Swanson's frozen ones with the light flakey homemade style crust and real white meat chicken ... you know ... the good ones!! Anyway, my 8 year old son decides he wants to eat by candle light ... I tried tirelessly to convince him that we should just eat with the light and not use the candles but he was unrelenting and I was tired ... so, I caved and we lit the candles (3 of them) and he set them in a nice straight line across the back of the bar. Oh, it was a lovely sight! My oldest two weren't home last night and hubby was working so it was just me and the three. I gave strict instructions that the candles were not to be touched or messed with in any way ... so, they were eating and bugging the crap out of each other - as they always do whenever they are within 10 feet of each other. I went to grab a pair of sweat pants from the clean laundry (in hindsight - me leaving the room was a bad idea) and then came the shrieking cries ... I mean hysterical uncontrolled screaming ... "MOM MOM MOM HELP MOM AHHHHH MOMMY COME FAST MOM MOM" .... so I am thinking "What the hell?" I come around the corner and my 8 year old son is jumping and running through the kitchen with a napkin that is completely engulfed in flames ... Yeah, he's holding it ... the other two are sitting on their bar stools terrified and sobbing ... keep in mind, this all happened in a 30 second time window ... I swear to God - some days I wonder how we ever survive!! Anyways, I said drop it ... he let's go ... the napkin proceeds to burn and disintegrate into a small pile of ash in the middle of the floor and then .... I get the "story" and the blaming starts and the "I didn't do it ... he did it" "No, I didn't!!" You know how that goes ... I have no idea exactly what happened -- all I know is -- NO more candle lit dinners at our house - no matter how gourmet the food is!!

~Love and Laughs~

P.S. No one was actually hurt during this potentially harmful incident. :)